Have you ever wondered why some people always look happy, even when adversity is kicking their butt? Or noticed others that are always unhappy despite living an amazing life? Maybe you know people that fluctuate between feeling happy and unhappy, without any direct correlation to what is happening in their lives? Why is that? Is there a way to increase our level of happiness despite our circumstances? The answer is yes. There are simple strategies that, if implemented consistently, will help you to feel more joyful, happier, and enthusiastic in life. But first, let’s consider what we can change and what we cannot.

Three factors that influence happiness:

Genetic.

Studies have shown that 50% of underlying happiness is genetic. Yes, we all have a different baseline. Some were born with the “happy gene” and others weren’t. That sucks, doesn’t it? Nonetheless, we can blame our ancestors, play the victim and say: “well it is in my genes, there is nothing I can do about it” or we can choose to look at the aspects that we can influence: circumstances and habits.

Circumstances.

Studies have shown that circumstances impact 25% of overall happiness. Often there is not much we can do about this. Life happens. Sometimes obstacles and challenges appear in our way. We lose our job, we break a leg or we get our hearts broken. We are naturally resilient as human beings, so we often accept it and move on but that does not mean it is easy. Knowing that we have little influence on our circumstances, we can now focus on the last 25% that we can control: habits.

Habits.

We can have both bad and good habits but we can stop certain habits and start new ones. It is in our control. Creating new habits can increase the level of happiness. It takes time but it is 100% feasible if you are determined.

I will share with you 7 strategies that you can implement each day to increase your happiness level. These strategies will focus on 4 areas of life: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Why I am telling you that

Studying the brain, learning about self-improvement, and breaking bad habits have become my passions over the years. Who doesn’t want to feel happier, more joyful, vibrant, and excited about their life? I was born in a very negative family. My parents always looked for the worst-case scenario in everything. They always blamed others or circumstances. There was no laughter, no joy, no reverence for life. My father decided to leave this world on his own terms and my mother ended up with dementia. If I look at their life, they had every reason to be happy but they weren’t. Their behaviors have impacted my life and the lives of my two sisters. I reproduced what I was taught and saw during my childhood for many decades. At one point, I took the courage to analyze closely what was wrong with my state of mind and why I was often unhappy. I read books, attended seminars, and followed therapy to improve. Slowly, I was able to come out of the misery I had created myself; I was able to change the story and I became happier.

I am sharing some of the strategies I used. They work. I am confident that some of them will work for you too. I really want you to become happier. If you are already happy in your life, maybe you can share them with someone who needs them (but there is no limit to happiness, we can always get more of it!). So, let’s dig into it.

1. Nutrition (physical)

Many people only look at what they consume when they start to have health issues or want to lose weight. They focus on the physical body. They forget to look at the brain's perspective. What nutrients are good for the overall health of the brain? How can you feed your brain?

Food

• Omega-3s are often missing in a western diet. If you don’t eat enough fish (e.g., salmon, mackerel) or seeds (e.g., walnuts, Chia seeds) then include a supplement of organic Omega-3 fatty-acids

• Low-fat diets are not the best for your brain. Often people on this type of diet tend to feel more depressed. Make sure you eat healthy fats (e.g., avocados, dark chocolate, fatty fish, nuts, extra virgin oil, coconut oil)

• Eat a lot of greens. Vegetables that are rich in fiber are great for you and your digestive system (where the majority of serotonin is contained)

• Avoid gluten, dairy, artificial sweeteners, soy, and processed carbs (e.g., bread, starchy vegetables, pasta, beer, low-fat or fat-free products)

Drinks

• Water is key. Around 60% of the adult human body and 75% of the brain is made up of water. Vital electrical impulses between neurons around the body travel better in water. There are many theories on water consumption but try to have at least ½ an ounce of water for each pound you weigh

• Alcohol is bad for your brain and mood for multiple reasons. It dehydrates your body and your brain which impairs overall brain functioning and increases the risk of dementia. Who wants that? Alcohol and depression are siblings. Drinking helps in the short term to decrease anxiety, stress, and improve the mood, but in the long run, it will worsen your overall mental health.

Supplements

• We are all born with a different baseline of happiness, and we all grew up in different environments. This has influenced the neurochemicals in our brain which have a huge influence on our mood and happiness. It is hard to know what you need to supplement. One supplement can be good for one person but have the reverse effect on another one. Serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin are important neurochemicals. B6, 5HTP, vitamin D, Omega-3, and minerals are a few supplements that can support a healthy overall balance. Consult your doctor to see what could be best for you.

2. Exercise (physical)

• Studies show that exercising helps reduce anxiety, stress, and depression

• Also, exercise releases endorphins that make you feel better and improve your mood

• Exercising for 30 minutes every day will improve your circulatory system by increasing the blood flow which will increase the oxygenation of your brain cells

• Diversify your activities. One day you go for a long walk, the next day lift weights, attend a class or go for a run. It is important is to move every day

• Exercising is also a good opportunity to socialize, which is very important for your happiness too

3. Gratitude journal (mental)

• Studies show that a regular gratitude practice can increase the level of happiness between 10% to 25% after 10 weeks

• When your brain is used to seeing the negative or the worst-case scenario, a gratitude practice will force you to seek another perspective on life. The best way to do it is to journal. I will share with you my practice

• Every morning, I journal 5 things that I am grateful for in my life. I picture them in my mind (50% of your brain is visual, so it is important to create a mental image). In the evening, I end my day with 5 things that I am grateful for that happened that day. It could be simple things like the hummingbird coming to the feeder or the smell of a flower. When I go to sleep, I picture those 5 things. This exercise relaxes my mind and body which helps me to fall asleep

• Finally, make the habit to contact a person and tell them how you love, appreciate and value them, and how important they are. Express gratitude for having them in your life. Do it and see what happens!

4. Sleep

• Around 20% of the American population has sleep-related issues. The stress that we have induced in our western lifestyles through work, bad diet, unhealthy relationships, and excess technology have created a sleep deprivation phenomenon

• During sleep, your brain flushes toxins through a system called the glymphatic system. It needs 7 to 8 hours to clean the waste in your brain. Poor sleep will interrupt this cleansing which will impact brain functioning overall

• Studies show that not enough sleep increases the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, diabetes, and obesity

• Also, studies show that people with insomnia have 5x more risk of developing depression and 20x higher risk of developing anxiety

• You should sleep at least 7 hours a day. I personally sleep 8 hours every night.

• Go to bed at a regular time. Make sure the room is dark and colder. Remove every electronic gadget from the room. If you have a TV in your bedroom, think about it… is there not another place to watch TV in your house?

• Vision the 5 things you were grateful for during the day as we talked about previously

• The last trick is to think about the next few days and picture the day with the best outcomes (no negative thoughts). Priming your brain will change the way you will see things the day after. Your brain will be ready to catch up on what will make you happy

5. Entourage (emotional)

• Too often people stay in an unhealthy relationship or with the same group of friends that are not helping them to grow or become happier. We all have family members, co-workers, or friends that are negative, who always see the obstacles and the difficulties. I call them the “dream killers.” In my family, I had many of them. Even though I didn’t understand the concept at the time, I knew that I had to leave them behind with respect and dignity. I didn’t want these toxic people in my life anymore. Jim Rohn said: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I believe in this concept. So, what can you do to have better quality relationships?

• Make a list of all the people you have in your life. Next to their name, list how you FEEL when you are around them, positive and negative. When you complete the list, select your top 5. Then plan to spend more time with them. The worse candidates should get out of your life. I know it is hard but it is the only way to surround yourself with more uplifting, happy, and supportive people

• Now what to do if one family member is very “unhappy” and negative, and you must interact with them? I personally divide them into two categories. Some I can see and have a conversation with sporadically but I listen for a short time and don’t engage in their conversation or drama. I acknowledge them and let them “vent” until they have finished. Then I leave. The second category is those that I avoid having a conversation with because it is not possible to maintain a relationship. I keep the connection to a minimum in a written way, via text or email. I don’t engage in verbal conversation if not necessary. I keep it short, and I never share my feelings or my thoughts

6. New experiences (emotional)

• Get out of your comfort zone. Not only is it the way to grow quickly as a human being, but it is often rewarding and fun. Routines make life easier and give you a structure that you can lean on, especially during challenging times. However, often we forget that beside the routine and the “daily business”, we should look at what could spice up our lives like new experiences

• Every week, reserve time to experience something new. It could be a new restaurant with food you have never eaten before, a new game, a new hiking trail, a new sport, new friends, visiting a new place, volunteer locally. Don’t try a new experience to put a checkmark next to it and say, “I did it, next one”, but focus on what can make you feel more alive, vibrant, and joyful. Do something that will trigger positive feelings. Experiences that make you feel a deeper sense of empathy and compassion. There are so many possibilities to leave your comfort zone and try new things. Focus on adding value to people and being of service. Doing these two things will change the way you feel, guaranteed!

• If you can share this experience with someone else, it is vital. Sharing positive experiences and feelings is important because it makes it metacognitive (what resides in your limbic system (the feeling) will be moved to the front part of your brain (frontal lobes) the conscious thinking where the executive functions are).

7. Meditation (spiritual)

• Scientific studies have shown that meditation has multiple benefits. Meditation decreases anxiety and stress, improves emotional control, and increases gray matter in the emotional processing areas of the brain (amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, the cingulate cortex, the hippocampus, and the basal ganglia). Meditation brings awareness to what is and to thoughts. It is key for understanding the mind and the “negative thinking” that you may be locked into

• There are so many different ways to meditate so find what feels the best for you. Personally, I love mindfulness and mantra meditations

• The greatest benefit of mindfulness meditation is to prioritize an awareness of your thoughts. You are not your thoughts, and you are not the feeling of them. The only part you are (and responsible for) is the thought of your thoughts and the feeling that you want the thought to generate. Yes, you can control your feelings and the meaning you want to give to a thought. Meditation will help you to bring that awareness. With practice, you will find yourself thinking about something or creating a story in your head that has nothing to do with reality. Witnessing that thought, acknowledging it, and moving on with a more accurate and positive one is the key to reducing repetitive thoughts that run in your head like a needle scratching on the vinyl

• I spend 20 minutes every morning meditating. I change the type of meditation depending on how I feel. I do the same in the evening, often when I walk my dog (walking meditation). I recall the good things that have happened during the day and in my life. I think of the 5 things that I am grateful for during the day that I will then write in my journal

Final words

It is time to implement these practices. Don’t worry, you won’t do it all at once. I want you to try one each day of the week. I want you to experience and feel each strategy. Then you will slowly combine them. After a few weeks, you should be able to have all of them integrated into new habits. Compounding these strategies is the key to change the way you feel. Go slowly, take your time. There is no rush. Give yourself permission to take the time to create new habits and feel the happiness growing within.

Being mindful about what you consume, and taking the right supplements to improve your brain performance. Don’t forget that what you listen to, read, watch, and say is feeding your brain too. Pay attention to what you listen to or watch on TV.

Move your body every day. If you have never really exercised, start small but be consistent and do something every day.

Gratitude practice and journaling will help you to see the world from a more positive perspective.

Get enough sleep, be consistent with the time you go to bed.

Make sure you surround yourself with positive and uplifting people. Make your lists, even if it is hard.

Create new adventures and experiences with your friend and loved ones. Share them and talk about it. Express your feelings.

Finally, take some time every day to reflect and meditate. Pay attention to your thoughts. Witness them and be critical. Assess if they are accurate and dissociate yourself from becoming the thought. Acknowledge the negative thoughts and then replace them with positive ones.

It is a long journey. But believe me, it is worth it. When I look back to where I was 10 years ago, it is scary. I was unhappy, miserable, and depressed like my parents. It took me time and I am still working on it. But I am eager every morning to discover more. I want more happiness, more joy, more vibrancy…. don’t you?

Start today! It is never too late to ask and manifest what is your birthright. Do the work and reclaim your happiness. If you need any support, I will be here for you. Take care of your happiness. It is the biggest gift you can give to yourself and the loved ones around you.

- Hubert
YourHPcoach

P.S. Hey guys, Hubert here!

Do me a favor, would you? If you liked this blog, would you share it with somebody that might like it?

Would you mind leaving a comment below and maybe share about a subject you are interested in?

That would mean the world to me. My only humble desire is to serve you and the community better.

I really appreciate it!

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