A few weeks ago, I was a keynote speaker at an event in San Diego. During the following Q&A, one audience member asked what the secret behind me going from one of the top 10 “Top Gun” instructors in the Swiss Air Force, to commanding training campaigns, then successfully transitioning to working in the United States for the Swiss government, and finally becoming an entrepreneur with my own coaching practice. The first word that came to my mind was authenticity.

My greatest successes always occurred when I could express my true self. The few times I tried to model or imitate someone else, I failed. Do you want an example? When I started my coaching practice, I had to learn about marketing. My first cold water jump into the marketing world was just before the COVID-19 pandemic began in 2020. Everybody was talking about social media and the importance of videos so I started shooting videos. Not only did it have no results (I think my French accent is a little bit too strong 😊) but I didn’t enjoy it at all. It was not me. What really worked for me was meeting people in their own environments and having a conversation, something I really enjoyed.

When I was driving home from the event, I reflected on this question. I looked at which other habits or behaviors had contributed to my successes. Hard work and resilience were the two that stood out. So, I dug deeper, asking myself when and why I had started to behave that way.

The answer came to my mind with extreme clarity. When I was in the 5th and 6th grade at school, around 11 or 12 years old, I was really struggling academically. I had barely made the minimum grade in the previous years to pass to the next year. During these years I was terrified to go to school. Almost every day I was beaten by my teacher. It was brutal. He would knock my head against the blackboard and would pull my hair so hard that I would fall on the ground. I would curl like a ball to protect myself. At this point he would then shoot me like a soccer ball toward the classroom door, open it and throw me out of the class. Worse, sometimes, he would take a sewing pin in his hand as he walked around the classroom asking French grammar rules that we had to learn by heart (and believe me, in French, there are thousands of them). We had to stand up and recite the rule. If you didn’t know the answer or didn’t recite the rule exactly word for word, he would prick your thigh with the needle. I don’t know how many times I went back home with bruises all over my body. When I showed them to my parents, they just said: “well, it is what happens when you are not listening and good at school.” They never stepped up. I would spend sleepless nights in my bed fearing going to school the day after. Sometimes, I would miss the school bus to miss the first 30 minutes of school, hoping that I would spend less time in this terrifying environment. And yes, nowadays, a teacher like that would be arrested… but not at that time in a small country town.

Now, to answer the why, the answer is simple: at a young age, I had to survive in a very hostile world both at home and at school. I knew at a young age that I had to get out of this misery. I spent a lot of time in my bedroom and it was my safe place. I had a big window over my bed where I could see airplanes practicing their landings at the local airfield nearby, Gruyeres (yes, where we make the famous cheese). This is when I started to contemplate how life would be when you could be as free as these pilots flying in the blue sky. I wanted to become a pilot and then later I decided to become a fighter jet pilot. I wanted to fly the noisy, furious, and fast airplanes that I watched from time-to-time flying low over our house. To achieve this ambitious goal, I had to work harder than anybody in my classroom, be resilient and take the punches, both physically and mentally. I knew how to take the pain as an ally and not as an enemy.

But why was I struggling so much at school? I was dyslexic. I was a slow reader and had difficulty writing. I also probably had ADD (as these two conditions often overlap). I was never diagnosed. At the time, nobody really knew what it was, at least in my small country town. As hard and painful those years were, I learned to fight with every cell of my body and never give up. Reflecting on these learning disabilities, I see them as a necessary evil that pushed me to become a better person and get out of the misery I was living in as a child, teenager, and young adult.

Another thing that may be surprising for you is that around 60% of my executive clients were diagnosed with one of these two learning disabilities. Nevertheless, they are successful individuals, leading large companies. I was always amazed when the clients shared their stories and struggles in their young age. We had a similar path and past. Once I realized this link, I started to research which other successful and influential people in this world have been diagnosed with those disabilities. The results blew my mind (and will blow yours too!):

The famous people you know who have the double whammy (dyslexia and ADHD):

• Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin empire

• Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft

• Leonardo Da Vinci, an incredibly influential artist, engineer, scientist, and architect

• Albert Einstein, the “mad” scientist and theoretical physicist who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1921

• Vince Vaughn, an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and producer

The brilliant brains and human beings with dyslexia:

• Anderson Cooper, a six-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, CNN news host

• Tom Cruise, one of the world’s highest-paid actors

• Charles Schwab, chair and CEO of the Charles Schwab Corporation, the largest brokerage firm in the U.S.

• Steve Jobs, a serial entrepreneur known for his amazing line of products with Apple

• Pablo Picasso, one of the most famous and influential artists of the 20th century

• Robin Williams, one of the greatest comedians of all time

• Steven Spielberg, one of the most popular and influential movie directors of all time

• Whoopi Goldberg, an outstanding comedian and actress

• Tommy Hilfiger, the famous fashion designer

The successful and influential people with ADHD:

• John F Kennedy, the 35th President of the U.S.

• Michael Phelps, a competitive swimmer and Olympian

• Walt Disney, Thomas Edison, John Lennon, Justin Timberlake, Michael Jordan, Ryan Gosling, Emma Watson, and many more

So, if you know someone with one of these learning challenges then let them know that they will be okay and that they can also have a very successful and fulfilling life. Yes, for any child, teenager, and their parents, it is challenging but I believe that people with dyslexia and ADHD can be successful with the right support and tools. I believe as well that young people with these conditions are used to working twice as hard as their peers and can become extremely resilient in their young life. This means that when they go out into the world, find a job, and build their lives, they can perform better and advance faster than their friends because they are used to doubling down in their efforts to reach their goals. They have the grit and the mindset to manage whatever life is throwing at them. People with an easier path in their youth may struggle when they enter a season of their life that is challenging. In my opinion, we could change the term “disabilities” to “abilities”. This would enable those with different perspectives to see the benefit of thinking outside of the box with creativity when others are trapped in conventional thoughts and behaviors.

I will share with you 3 strategies that really helped me personally to manage my abilities. Some of them I discovered when I was looking for ways to keep the pace with my friends at school, and others I learned from others with the same challenges. Before I share my 3 strategies with you, I must state the following disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, which should be obtained directly from a physician. Always consult your doctor or other qualified healthcare providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Please do not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking help because of something you may have read on this blog/website or in any linked materials. If you or any person you may know has a medical concern, they should consult with a licensed professional, physician, or healthcare worker.

1. Support systems

Support systems (plural!) are key. I will share with you a few of them:

• Look for someone who sees, hears, understands, and appreciates you. In my case, this was my aunt Beatrice, who was a retired teacher. After hearing my mum complaining repeatedly about her misery at my poor school performance, she offered to help. I would walk alone twice a week after school to her apartment. We would sit together practicing dictation and reading and I improved. She would select easy books based on my interest which was aviation. This is when I read “The Little Prince” from Antoine of St Exupery for the first time. This would become my favorite book of all time. Find someone with patience, someone who cares for you that can support you. It could be a family member, a friend, a tutor, or anyone with the expertise that you struggle with. The key is to be consistent and disciplined. It is a long-term process. Just stick with it

• Get organized. This is especially important if you were diagnosed with ADD or ADHD. Use a calendar. I personally use google calendar and I love it. Plan what you want to do every day of the week. Use colors to help. For example, red for what you need to attend e.g. meetings, doctor appointments; then green for what you want to do that day (if it does not happen then don’t panic - it can be rescheduled); and yellow for personal time like reading, personal development, meditation, exercises, fun time. One important thing is to make small blocks for each task/event. I like a one-hour block then I can have 5 minutes break every hour before starting the next block with something different. This keeps things more interesting and helps with my attention span
  
  When I wanted to become a fighter pilot, I organized my day around the different skills that I needed to learn for the selection and all the tests that I needed to pass (geography, mathematics, physics, psychometric test, physical test). I would spend an hour in my room learning geography. I could take a white page and draw Switzerland by hand with each valley, each river, towns, villages, lakes, mountains peaks with altitudes and passes. I would fill out pages of psychometric tests, just to get better at them. This hard work and preparation gave me the competitive advantage over the other young people who wanted to become a fighter pilot but didn’t prepare

• Build routine and habits. It is interesting to notice that one of the common factors of success for the most influential people in the world are routines and habits. People with dyslexia and ADHD need to have routines and habits in place early in their life. These practices can build the structure that will support them with reaching goals in their personal and professional life later. Creating routines and habits can include those for your physical health (eating, drinking, exercising), mental and emotional health (meditation, breathing or other exercises to mitigate anxiety), or taking multiple mini breaks during the days to refresh and reoxygenate the mind.
  
  When I prepared myself physically for the hardcore bootcamp, I organized my weeks and days to improve my fitness and my endurance. Every night of the week, I would go walking in the nearby forest with my heavy military shoes that were mandatory to wear for all the walks. I would have blisters and bleeding toes. I was used to the pain. I pushed through, becoming tougher and stronger both physically and mentally. I built the routines and habits to become an Ironman!

2. Passion and fun

• Find something that you are passionate about. It is known that a person with ADHD can be very focused when working on something they are passionate about. I was lucky to have a passion for aviation and flying. That gave me my focus. I was obsessed with it. I would spend my evenings learning about airplanes or exercising to become better for the written, mental, and physical tests. Most of them were not fun. But I was passionate about being a fighter pilot and I would do anything to become one.
  
  Find out what is your passion. Focus on that. Sometimes it can be tricky and you may need to think outside the box. For example, if you have a child who struggles with mathematics and numbers but he or she is passionate about cooking. In this case, linking numbers with cooking recipes (which use numerical measurements) and creating new variations of the recipe by changing the numbers and tracking them can help your child to “like” mathematics and become better at it. Link what they must learn with one of their passions. Working with numbers and cooking with them can be a really a fun, rewarding experience for both them and you

• Use different sensory inputs. I still have difficulties with remembering and spelling names. The way I do it is to engage different sensors. I hear the name, then I visualize it in the sand. I imagine feeling my finger drawing each letter in the sand. Sometimes, I ask the person to spell their name again, slowly, explaining that I must draw their name in the sand in my head to compensate for my dyslexia. And honestly, I have never had anyone saying no or laughing at it. Being honest and vulnerable helps us to connect on a deeper level and have another level of appreciation for each other.
  
  If you have to practice spelling words, use the stones in your driveway, or break down pieces of spaghetti draw the letter with them (before you cook them, using the appropriate formula you just created before 😊). Those with dyslexia can use color, sounds, forms, smells, and tastes to help the brain remember words. Triggering different sensory inputs is really helpful for ADHD too, because it keeps the brain busy around the same focus

• Focus on the strengths, not the weaknesses. Even when we are working on a weakness (learning difficulties, focus challenges), it is important to use our strengths to alleviate these weaknesses. I will give you an example. I was talking to a friend with a teenage son who has severe ADHD and really struggles. He is really passionate about gaming. He is not passionate about playing the game itself but analyzing the players, their movements or game plans, and analyzing the weaknesses of the game. He can stay focused on this task day and night. He is passionate about it, and he can easily observe, analyze, and summarize what he sees. His mum was concerned about his future after college but I offered her a new perspective. I gave her an idea about how to focus on his strengths to compensate for his weaknesses (ADHD). I asked her if she could see the value of his skill and talent. How many gaming companies would love to have someone like him testing a game and creating improvements to make the game more interesting and engaging? If he is good at it, some companies will pay him millions for his advice. Use that strength and work on it. His focus and attention will improve. It will give him a sense of purpose and inclusion. He will feel so much more alive knowing that he is contributing to something that he is passionate about.
  
  Too many people hammer their child with their weaknesses, making them miserable and even paranoid with their problems. Change the perspective: focus on their strengths and talents to compensate for their ‘weaknesses’

3. Healthy lifestyle

• Outdoor time is crucial. Spending time outdoors will not only be beneficial for your health, but it will help people to let go of the excess of energy that people who struggle with dyslexia and ADHD can often have. Spend time on the beach, in the water. Hike in the forest. Go camping or fishing. Try new experiences outdoors. Make sure to expose yourself to many sensory experiences. Eat new foods, smell new flowers.
  
  As a child, I would spend my free days either at the airport or in the forest. These were my two happy places. I would build tree houses or wander into unknown places, sometimes getting lost. I was able to let my imagination go wild. It was like the overpressure plug in a pressure cooker. I needed to get the energy out and allow my brain to free flow like it wanted, without boundaries or limitations

• Exercise the mind and body. Building routines and habits around a healthy physical body and mind are crucial. Three practices that I wish I would have known earlier in my life are yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises. They are so important to develop stability in the physical and mental body (see my two blogs about the 5 Things that I Wish I Had Known When I Was a Teenager, part I and part II). These practices help me to be centered. They assist with calming down the storms in our heads. I was, unfortunately, not exposed to sport activities. This required our parents to drive me or my sister to practice. They didn’t see this as valuable or a priority for them. As you may slowly know if you follow me, my parents were a life challenge in themselves. I started to see a big shift in my focus and felt my mind growing sharper when I exercised and kept my routine of yoga, meditation, and breathwork. When I go off track, I can feel it. I am less productive, my mind is foggier and I have more annoying negative thoughts. My mood changes as well and I am less patient. This highlights how important it is to keep a healthy routine around your physical and mental fitness

• Food, drink, and supplements that nourish you with the right nutrients. What you eat, drink, and the supplements you take can influence the way you think, feel, and behave, which dictates the outcome. Drinking plenty of water and staying away from caffeine, alcohol and sugary drinks is beneficial for you. Eating organic foods is also important. I personally keep track of how much water I drink each day and I make sure that I eat plenty of greens. I use a few supplements that really help my mind like zinc, magnesium, Safran, and omega 3. Again, this is what I do. It may be different for you. The best way for you to approach your nutrition is to see a nutritionist and ask for a blood panel test and a vitamin and mineral blood test. Talk to your doctor and find a plan. Everybody is different in their lifestyle, how their body metabolizes nutrients, and in their eating habits. I highly encourage you to invest in finding out what your physical body and mind need specifically to perform at their best level. It made a huge difference for me and it will for you too!!
  
  

Final words

Too much trauma is created by labeling a person with dyslexia or ADHD. When doing this the education system puts them in a special category with special needs. I believe that this kind of approach is not serving the individual best. I believe in inclusion and educating parents, teachers, industry leaders, and HR people about how to approach someone with these challenges.

I was not diagnosed with dyslexia until my early 40’s. This was probably a blessing. Yes, I may have avoided the beating, the fear of going to school, and would probably have received some more support for my “special needs”. But what I know for sure is that if I would have been diagnosed in my early years, I would have been put in this category and I wouldn’t have had a chance to fight for the life I wanted. I wouldn’t have the opportunity to fly these fast, furious, and noisy jets. I might not have been able to develop to the best version of myself. Boundaries and limitations would have been put on me by others or society.

Look at all the famous, successful, influential, and amazing people that I listed before. They have had great lives. Dyslexia and ADHD may be a curse in your life if you chose to believe it. I prefer to think of it as a steep ramp that I had to climb full speed to be propelled higher and further than others in life... Yes, it was not easy, especially as a child, teenager, and young adult. But one thing I can tell you is that the executives and entrepreneurs that I coach who had these learning challenges became very successful because they worked hard and were resilient. They decided to go full speed on the ramp. There was no other way anyway.

If you know someone who has dyslexia or ADHD, let them know that many successful people in this world went through the same journey that they are going through. Let them know that they are not alone and that what they are going through right now, especially kids and teenagers, will enable them to outperform many of their peers and friends later in life. It is an ability to forge strength, courage, resilience, and discipline. Choose the right perspective. Help them to focus on their passion. Tell them to never give up. The rewards may be delayed but they will be there. Build the ramp with them that will propel them towards their dream, a fulfilling, purposeful, and conscious life!

- Hubert
YourHPcoach

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